Oscar nom nom nom nom

In general I feel pretty meh about the Oscars nowadays, but I thought I’d glance over them anyway. I don’t have much opinion on the performance nominations and what not. Since I have a terrible memory for this, I’ve got a list of the movies that came out last year and I’m comparing it to the nomination list. Prep yourself for some stream-of-consciousness style commentary.

Best Picture. Avatar will almost certainly win, though everyone but the voters will likely agree that it shouldn’t. Why is The Blind Side there? Haven’t we seen the “feel good high school football movie in which somebody overcomes great disadvantage” about a billion times already? District 9 and Up In the Air are good, but not Best Picture good. Out of the ones I’ve seen, I think I enjoyed Inglourious Basterds the most, but I understand it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. I’m cursing myself for not having seen A Serious Man. From what I’ve heard, Precious might actually be the one that deserves the prize.

I feel like if it hadn’t made a babillion dollars, Avatar wouldn’t be there, and Sherlock Holmes would have been able to take it’s rightful nomination.

If Avatar wins Best Art Direction I’ll be sorely disappointed. People have complained about the recycled script, but there was nothing remotely original about the art design. It didn’t deserve a nomination, much less a win.

Wait, why wasn’t Watchmen nominated for Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)? Instead we get District 9, which devolved into a generic action movie in it’s 3rd act.

(Observation: There were a ton of documentaries about the environment in 2009.)

Damn, I didn’t get to see The Men Who Stare at Goats, either. Or The Fantastic Mr. Fox. A lot of stuff came and went during my insane busy season at work.

They should create a special Most Number of Heads Cut in Half Because Ninjas Don’t Fuck Around with that Neck Nonsense award for Ninja Assassin.

I also didn’t get to see The Imaginanium of Doctor Parnassus, an omission for which I should be beaten with reeds.

The Wife Awards: Jeff Bridges wins the Most Frequently Mentioned Person My Wife would Totally Do award, and (500) Days of Summer gets the Movie During Which Wife Most Frequently Glared at her Husband award.

And really, those are the ones that matter.


One thought on “Oscar nom nom nom nom”

  1. Avatar should be banned for the good of the people. It sucked so hard. If it wins ANYTHING other than, like, special effect awards, I will have to hurt somebody.

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