Buffy Cubed

In case you hadn’t heard (like I just did like an hour ago), someone is remaking Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Without Joss Whedon!

Someone grab the pitchforks! Boycott something! OMG!!!111!!

Seriously, though, I don’t care.

Don’t get me wrong, I loves me some Buffy. I own all seven seasons on DVD and have been faithfully reading Season 8 even when it’s not that good. I even watch it occasionally in syndication on Logo when nothing else is on despite the ridiculous drag queen commercials. There’s an awesome Mr. Pointy replica a friend crafted on my bookcase alongside my signed Green Lantern and Cardboard Tube; the greatest weapons in the universe. I own that one issue of Rolling Stone with Sarah Michelle Gellar on the cover. You know the one.

Just in case you don't.

Here’s the thing: Buffy is awesome. She’s a great, fun character, and the metaphorical genre-twisting that made the show special is built into the basic premise; you can’t take that away from her, at least as long as Buffy is still kind of a silly name.

Other writers have handled the character, and done it well. The television series that so many people are treating as sacred wasn’t even the first version, but sort of a soft reboot of the story started in the original movie.

Everyone complains about remakes, but for the most part it’s ridiculous whinging. There are perfectly good characters and stories laying around waiting for the right writer or artist or cinematographer to come along and do them justice. For every unnecessary Psycho remake there’s a Maltese Falcon. If someone offered me a chance to write a remake or sequel to The Last Starfighter I would sell any number of your souls to do so – I love the original, but come on how awesome would the Death Blossom be in 3D, amiright?

At any rate, the mere existence of remakes doesn’t invalidate the one you love. The originals are still there, you can still watch or read them. No matter how many times George Lucas craps on his own Star Wars flicks, I still have the originals to re-watch and pass on to my descendants (somewhere…on VHS…that I don’t have a VCR to watch, but still).

My point is Buffy is a strong character with great potential. Getting all worked up about a remake is not just silly, but mildly insulting to her and to Joss. She can stand on her own and create a legacy that generations to come can enjoy. We can either let her go and do that, joining the ranks of other great fictional characters like Conan the Barbarian, Sherlock Holmes, and Batman, or we can horde her and let her become a forgotten cult classic once the current core audience dies out.

Either the remake is great, in which case yay! or it’s terrible, in which case it’ll be marginalized and quickly forgotten. So relax. There’s no losing side to this.

Disclaimer:  If they ever go through with that Seven Samurai remake I’ve hearing about for the last few years I WILL MURDER SOMEONE’S FACE.

That is all.